One Year of Lingerie & Vintage - Finding our Mission

We are coming up on our first anniversary and have been reflecting a lot on our original concept, to start a confidence-enhancing feminist for women. Honestly, we didn't know if this was a market that existed. We interviewed women and found most didn't feel excited about bra shopping or proud of their underwear. When it came to pleasure products, most women thought sex shops seemed creepy or trashy but were interested in a sophisticated and intelligent introduction to basic toys. The vintage collection just came about on accident, because I always shopped for vintage and had amassed a collection.

So now, at a year, is that still the vision for The Ruff Life?

Short answer, yes, but in a more focused way. We want to be a cheerleader for awesome ladies. This year, we are going to make a point of working even harder, of bending over backwards, to make people excited about their body.

I'm hoping to have many more photo shoots and show off the wonderful Oklahoma ladies. Through our Instagram, we occasionally ask girls willing to model to e-mail us and meet up. The response was unexpected. We actually have had to schedule several dates for shoots, because as it turns out, there are a lot of women of all sizes willing to pose in lingerie. 38Gs to 32As. XS to XXL. Some tattooed, some bald, some with scars. Just phenomenal.

Yeah, we are still just a shop, but 'just going to work' isn't passionate enough to get anyone through the hard times and Oklahoma allergy season. Most of the women on staff never had many girl friends but were attracted by the notion of helping other women, instead of tearing each other down all the time.

  

In pursuit of this, please tell us how we can be better and what you want to see more of/less of. 

Also, join us in store April 4th 6 pm - 8 pm to celebrate with champagne and snacks. Thank you for a great first year!

XOXO,

The Ruff Life

Breast Augmentation - Open Talk on Boob Jobs

Several women have asked me questions about my breast implants and often seem surprised by my response. The ability to reconcile my body image with my intellect and spirituality was not an entirely natural process but involved reflection on apparent dichotomies.

Nature created me with uneven breasts. That size difference bothered me but was also a natural occurence unique to myself. However, the real reason for my surgery have more to do with how I self-identify. I identify with curvaceous women and wanted to reflect that.

When I decided to get surgery, I neither hated myself nor my breasts. My then boyfriend urged me against undergoing surgery. The decision was one I made because I wanted it.

As I had had many piercings, tattoos, and overall style changes, altering my appearance has never had connotations of poor self-esteem but has been a by-product of post-modern evolution.

Before

After (and 1.5 months pregnant)

I found a female surgeon who understood what I was interested in, a fuller, more feminine form, adding to my natural form without distracting from it. Though silicone had been FDA-approved, I preferred saline, because, frankly, I want to know when they pop ("they are not lifetime devices"). Silicone looks and feels more natural, but when they rupture, it is a slow process. I am comfortable with saline rupturing in my body.

November 2008, I underwent surgery.  Hours later, I was released, and my mother drove me home. Though I took pain medication, the pain was more akin to having a heavy and sore chest. After several days, I was up and back to normal except could not do any heavy lifting or running. I had exercises to help the implants "drop." By exercises, I mean massaging my breasts downward.

I think there are many bad reasons for plastic surgery, seeking perfection or feel not good enough especially. In my experience, my outward appearance is comfortable when it reflects who I am inside.

I am still able to breastfeed, box, run 5Ks, play sports, twirl pasties, read long books and be a feminist. Implants did not precluded any options or opened any doors.

I had been warned of all the possible side effects but experienced none. The effects I encountered were different...
1. My armpits moved slightly.
2. My breasts are circular and full, which should be good but is slightly reminiscent of anime cartoon eyes.
3. When I sprint, I can feel them move. I kind of enjoy the sensation, but it is a little unsettling to think about.
4. If you do a lot of naked back bends, you may see the outline of the implant separate from the outline of your natural breasts.  

None of these things particularly bother me. I got a boob job, not seeking perfection or to fill a void. I just wanted the curvature I felt was already a part of who I am.

 I think there are thousands of possible versions of who I am. Often, I feel like a different version of myself daily. Changes in my body are just a part of my history, and never had or will be who I am.