Breast Augmentation - Open Talk on Boob Jobs

Several women have asked me questions about my breast implants and often seem surprised by my response. The ability to reconcile my body image with my intellect and spirituality was not an entirely natural process but involved reflection on apparent dichotomies.

Nature created me with uneven breasts. That size difference bothered me but was also a natural occurence unique to myself. However, the real reason for my surgery have more to do with how I self-identify. I identify with curvaceous women and wanted to reflect that.

When I decided to get surgery, I neither hated myself nor my breasts. My then boyfriend urged me against undergoing surgery. The decision was one I made because I wanted it.

As I had had many piercings, tattoos, and overall style changes, altering my appearance has never had connotations of poor self-esteem but has been a by-product of post-modern evolution.

Before

After (and 1.5 months pregnant)

I found a female surgeon who understood what I was interested in, a fuller, more feminine form, adding to my natural form without distracting from it. Though silicone had been FDA-approved, I preferred saline, because, frankly, I want to know when they pop ("they are not lifetime devices"). Silicone looks and feels more natural, but when they rupture, it is a slow process. I am comfortable with saline rupturing in my body.

November 2008, I underwent surgery.  Hours later, I was released, and my mother drove me home. Though I took pain medication, the pain was more akin to having a heavy and sore chest. After several days, I was up and back to normal except could not do any heavy lifting or running. I had exercises to help the implants "drop." By exercises, I mean massaging my breasts downward.

I think there are many bad reasons for plastic surgery, seeking perfection or feel not good enough especially. In my experience, my outward appearance is comfortable when it reflects who I am inside.

I am still able to breastfeed, box, run 5Ks, play sports, twirl pasties, read long books and be a feminist. Implants did not precluded any options or opened any doors.

I had been warned of all the possible side effects but experienced none. The effects I encountered were different...
1. My armpits moved slightly.
2. My breasts are circular and full, which should be good but is slightly reminiscent of anime cartoon eyes.
3. When I sprint, I can feel them move. I kind of enjoy the sensation, but it is a little unsettling to think about.
4. If you do a lot of naked back bends, you may see the outline of the implant separate from the outline of your natural breasts.  

None of these things particularly bother me. I got a boob job, not seeking perfection or to fill a void. I just wanted the curvature I felt was already a part of who I am.

 I think there are thousands of possible versions of who I am. Often, I feel like a different version of myself daily. Changes in my body are just a part of my history, and never had or will be who I am.